Thank God for Lykke Li

Hey.

So it's a bit of a wierd vibe night.

It's 11:35 and my plan was to go to bed half an hour ago. We're kicking off assignment 4 tomorrow - (a story about alzheimer's disease) - starting with a trip to a "Dementia Cafe!" Don't laugh, it will be an experience to remember....BAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha.

But really. The internet has selfishly kept me from my bed.

Firstly, my mind has been in Italy and Barcelona for most of the afternoon. I went to Hugo's after school and we decided to book our hostels for our big spring break trip. As it turns out, every other foreign student looking to spend the break in the shunshine has already done so.

Hugo already has accomodation when we go to Perugia for 3 days, as he is there for an international journalism convention. But unfortunately, as we searched every hostel web portal possible, we couldn't find a place for ME to sleep within the city. I never knew a little red "X" over a requested reservation date could cause so much stress!!

We resorted to e-mailing the coordinator of Hugo's convention to see if there was any more space in the hotel he's staying at. The e-mail we wrote in desperation went something like this:

"Hello! My girlfriend Kimberly is coming from Canada to visit me during the convention. Is there any more space available at the hotel for her??"

The coordinator responded. No luck. But she DID re-direct us to some cheap hotels around the city!! We found one for 20 euros a night, so I quickly dialed the italian number into my crappy little Nokia and tried to make a reservation. The man on the other end told me to make my reservation online instead, and that they would get back to me later tonight if there was any space available.

"We've been turning down big groups of people," he said in perfect english. "But since you're only one person, I'm sure there will be space."

Well. I just got the e-mail from them:

"Ci dispiace non abbiamo più posto per le notti richieste.

alla prossima"

...right-o! I tell ya. Google translate has never been used more on this little HP.

In english, the nice people from this "Ostello" hotel said:

"Sorry we do not have more room for the nights requested.

the next."

Yes, yes, I get the no vacancy part. But "the next!!!" It's like code! Very interesting, I do say.

In any case. Still no italian bed for Canadian Kimberly.

Not all hope is lost though. Hugo and I stumbled upon this little beauty of a hostel early on in our internet surf:

http://www.hostelworld.com/hosteldetails.php/Perugia-Farmhouse-Backpacker-Hostel/Perugia/12755

At first, the thought of being 45 minutes outside of the city in a 200-year-old refurbished farm house in the middle of italian-no-where was an extremely unnerving thought. How could I, little Kimberly Ivany, find my way from Skjholdhoj Kollegiet in Aarhus Denmark to THIS place?!

WELL. I still don't know how it will happen, but I'm thinking now it will HAVE to as pretty much every other possible location we've found is booked or way to expensive. BUT. As I think about it more, staying here for 3 days could actually be a really WICKED adventure. Imagine. Travelling by bus past fields of sunflowers, bunking in a historic bedroom with a breeze blowing through the window, just experiencing some genuine days under the tuscan sun, really...

AH!!!!! :D OK! I do believe I just decided. I shall book the farm!!! HA! Here we go.

So that italian-now-half-dilemma is one thing that is making this Tuesday night a bit of an unbalanced anxiety dance. The other part is an e-mail I just recieved from my internship mentor at Ryerson.

For half of semester 1 during the upcoming year at Ryerson, I will be doing an internship at a location of my choosing. CBC Vancouver has been my number one choice for a LONG time now, and as the deadline for fall internships is approaching next week, I completed my cover letter and touched up my resume yesterday and sent it off to my mentor to get approved.

After procrastinating away much of the weekend, I was rather satisfied with the final product.

"Good," I said to myself as I pressed send late last night. "It is finished."

(So biblical, I know.)

WELL. Here's the e-mail I got back tonight:

Hi Kimberly,

Thanks for responding to my email.

There are two different application procedures involved in your
preferences. If you would like to consider CBC Network in Toronto,
then you must apply BETWEEN NOW AND APRIL 13! That would involve a
different cover letter because you would not be in a position to
determine the location of your placement. All you would be able to do
is state a preference for radio or TV, and perhaps a specific program
where you'd like to do your internship. That application happens ONLY
through the CBC website and I have already emailed you the
instructions. Let me know if you did not receive them.

Applying to CBC Vancouver is something separate. That is handled> locally and you would need to approach the local Executive producer
yourself with your pitch. You'd need to mention the specific dates of
your proposed intenship (October 24 to December 2). And you would need
to change the emphasis of your letter. None of the CBC internships
involves reporting. You might be able to spend time with reporters in
the field and even do some field interviews for streeters or specific
sources. But most of the positions involve research, chasing guests
for interviews, screening video, writing copy stories etc.

It's OK to say you want to be a reporter one day. But don't expect to
do any on an internship at CBC.

So while your Vancouver letter is quite enthusiastic and positive, you
do need to downscale your aspirations to do any reporting, or at least
express your thoughts differently. I hope I am not misreading your intentions.

In any case, let me know what you plan to do. As I say, the Toronto
deadline is next Wednesday and no applications will be considered
after that day. I urge you to apply because chances are excellent you
will get an exciting placement. There is no guarantee CBC Vancouver
will accept you as an intern, though CTV Vancouver happily takes our
interns every year. You can consider that option as well and I'll send
you contact information.

Hope to hear back from you.

David

...not exactly the "WOO HOO" response I was hoping for.

Ok.

So.

Step 1: Re-format my cover letter. (Poo.)
Step 2: Get in contact with multiple executive producers (Crap.)
Step 3: Possible forfeit BC for CBC??? (Shit.)

Such are the thoughs of an April 5th evening.

Basically, what do I DO?! I'm feeling the pressure of a life-decision on a deadline! Do I want to stick with my original plan and go to BC? But would doing my internship at CTV gonna be worth it? Can I apply to more than one internship?? Should I really just stay in Toronto? DO I REALLY WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST???

In reality, I can say outloud that it's not that intense, and I'm trying to look at this situation objectively. But I feel like I just got smacked in the face:

"Hello Kimberly? This is real-life calling. It's time to come down out of the Danish clouds and think about the FUTCHA!"

Oh man. The future is a scary thing, isn't it?? It's like, as soon as we get settled into one thing - as soon as we feel the comfort of expected routine and predictable outcomes that come with it, something happens that completely shakes us out of our trees.

Well. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a monkey, dammit!!! Sometime I just don't have the energy or desire to leap to the next branch! Sometimes I feel that I am merely a sloth enjoying the view of the canopy above me, chewing on leaves and experiencing ultimate contentment that comes with mozying along at my own comfortable place.

Hmmmmmmm.

What do you think?

I think: There's a But. And I'm not talking about the multi-coloured ones you find on baboons.

It's the scary truth: I have no idea where I will be interning in the fall. I have no idea how I'm going to re-format my cover letter in the first place, and I ultimately have no idea where I, as Kimberly the journalist, is supposed to end up.

It's another frightening actuality: I have NO idea how I'm going to navigate to the Perugian farmhouse next week by myself. I have no idea who I will meet, or if I'll even have any method of contacting civilization with my "foreign" SIM card I just bought from Telenor.

...BUT: (Da de DAAAAA)

If there's one thing I've taken away from this Danish pilgrimage already, it is that not knowing means ADVENTURE.

Indecisiveness will transform into clarity.

Ambiguity is delicious.

Life is rich. RICH I tell you!!!

Thusly. I am going to actively force myself not to stress over CBCTBCTORONTOVANCOUVER madness. There will be an answer. Let it be. (I do believe I have heard that somewhere before.)

So take that, journalism. I'll channel my inner-monkey and conquer you in calmness in the morrow. I will I WILL.

And now, to complete the search for my zen space, I will listen to Lykke Li one...no, three more times, then go to bed and dream about dem fields of sunflowers.

YES!